ok well I was supposed to go to chicago right... well my mom cant keep a promise and I am not going.... who knows if I will even go on the cruise right now!! well how I found out if I was going was i was talking to my mom today and it went something like this

Jessica:
hey mom when are we going to chicago

Susan:
we might not
yes we went to the meeting
(the mondelis company meeting)

Jessica:
why wouldnt we

Susan:
money

Jessica:
oh...

I wanted to cry soo bad... it probably wouldnt have been a big deal except that she can never keep a promise and I dont know what made me think she would keep this one!! I thought she changed and could keep a promise but she cant... I wanted to kill myself but matt kc and tristan are what made me decide not too... I cant stop hating my mom for blaming my sister for doing drugs and maybe if Keli actually did do drugs its because my mom drove her to it... MOM KELI DOES NOT DO DRUGS AND SHE IS BETTER THAN THAT... DO YOU THINK THAT JAYDE WOULD LET HER DO THAT??? I freaking love my sister and we can do sooo many things that no one in our family even understands... she is the one that taught me raki and she is the one I first told that i could read auras... and guess what!!! I wont even tell my mom I can because i am affriad she will go "great another Keli" even though i dont know why she doesnt hate me already because everything about me resembles keli... personality and all.... SHE NEEDS TO FREAKING GROW UP BECAUSE NOW SHE IS DENYING THAT SHE EVEN HAS A DAUGHTER NAMED KELI!!! well i have been trying to shut her out for months now... the last time i saw her was when she came over to my house to give me b-day money cause she knew i wasnt going to come over.... why does she insist on hurting me?! all the promises she makes and breaks just hurts me more and more!! i dont even want to see her again!! now i feel really bad for my little sister Jaden because she is like a mini me and she has to go through life not knowing what a decent one is!! i wish she would go live with her real dad so she would know what financially stable really is but unfortunately she was addopted. and for Rick, my step dad, she is spending money behind your back... how else do you think that one day she just came home with 10 pairs of shoes from forever 21... i am so sorry for susans (my mom) behavior Keli i wish she would stop but we all know she never will!! well... glad that's out